Hostessing

Okay, I'm realizing that I'm very pretentious. I like to pretend that I'm one person but really I'm not. (Rabbit trail...Have you ever seen the movie, "Ladies Man"? It's a really stupid SNL sketch type movie that my college roommate and I stayed up one night 'till 2AM watching just to laugh at a few funny one liners. In it, this guy brings fake flowers to his date. He says, "They look and smell real but really they're not." Well, I'm very much like the fake flowers. I like to portray that I look and smell really organized, smart, pretty, etc. but really, I'm not. God is gracious, patient and loving to me and is peeling this horrible sin away from me. It actually feels good to let it go. So this is more of a journal entry than a post, I guess. Bear with me.

I've always been shy and, well, fearful, to play hostess. I've worried of what people think of my house. "What will people say about the dust? (Because I HATE to dust.) Will they like the food? Will they think my house is nice? Will they still like me even though our bathroom has horribly ugly wallpaper left from the previous owner of the house? Is my neighborhood nice enough?" Stupid, stupid, stupid thoughts. Sinful, really.

I mentioned that I had been reading, Your Home, A Place of Grace. There is a chapter about opening your house to guests, and it is great! Hosting will not only show others grace but will teach your children how to think for others and serve other people. When I read this I was truly convicted. So after some confession and prayer, out came the invitations.

A friend, who I once worked with, has four children - 2 in school and 2 still at home. "Would you like to come over? Samuel and Matthew would love to play with your two little ones, and I would love to sit with some coffee and talk." "Sure! We'll be there at 9." "Great!"

So this morning, I had plans to rise early, read my Bible, make sure everything is spic-n-span, bake muffins, get the coffee ready and all the while feeding, clothing and making sure two little boys were smiling and in great moods. Ha! God has a way of humbling me.

I didn't get out of bed at 5AM like I wanted. But 6:30 instead.

I didn't have a very happy 3 year old. Frankly, he woke up way too early and refused to go back to sleep. I finally had to just lock him in his room. (It's a great trick...turn the door knob around so the lock is on the outside. Sometimes it saves us great angst when I'm grumpy myself and can't deal with a grumpy 3 year old. Time and space away does a body good...for everyone.)

I only was able to clean the dishes from last night and sweep the floor from the crumbs still out from yesterday morning.

I didn't get a shower but literally threw on some old clothes, brushed my hair, smeared some make up on. "It'll have to do," I said.

I didn't get to make muffins but did experiment with making scones. Not bad.

I was able to spend some time reading my Bible and praying...only a few minutes while a 3 year old was watching Curious George at 7AM.

At 8:30, I had to deal with a potty mess, a crying hungry baby and a little boy who changed his mind about eating grits. Instead, he decided to sit at the table pouting. Hence the part where he was locked in his room.

Finally at 9:00 when I heard the knock on the door, I turned around and said, "We'll enjoy ourselves....Come in"

And we did. Even though we both had to interrupt our conversations to correct our children, wipe away tears and snotty noses, it was nice and encouraging.

I'm learning that life is too short to be afraid of what people think. My God has said, "Rejoice always! I say again, Rejoice." He loves a cheerful giver...not a perfectly neat and tidy one, just a cheerful one.

As our company left, Samuel and I walked them out to the car and said, "Thank you for coming over. We enjoyed it." The boys were even yelling goodbye from the porch and the car several times. It was fun to see my son learn, 32 years earlier than me, how to be a gracious host. Maybe with the next guest, we'll have real flowers.